Resources for personal leadership
Resources for personal leadership
Purists of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) tend to eschew notions or frameworks of individualistic perspectives to therapy or interpreting families or organizations (like “personality type” or “traits” schemas).
They prefer a consistent “systems” approach that focuses on the structural…
Emotional Integration in Organizations
At the conclusion of a recent presentation on leadership in organizations someone asked, “How would you define emotional integration in an organization?”
While I did not use that phrase in my presentation, it was a good question.
The…
Thinking Changes Things
In October 1929, the U.S. Stock Market crashed.
Investors lost billions of dollars; were drained of their sense of invincibility; and confronted with the limits of industrialization and human power.
This unprecedented event set in motion the Great Depression—a deep…
What Will You Do?
In Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) the concept of differentiation of self is all about functioning.
One manifestation of the extent to which one is functioning in a self-differentiated manner is how well one can separate feeling from thinking.
Some…
Get Understanding
Few things escape the consequences of their own success.
This axiom seems true even of Bowen Family Systems Theory.
It seems that systems theory is now the “in” thing—never have there been as many courses on it, or more “experts”…
An Act of Unselfish Love
I was in late elementary school – the years when one is old enough to recognize that hardships exist in life but young enough to think the world was all about me.
My mother had a close friend whom she…
Knowing When To Fold ‘Em: The Plight of Second Chair Leaders
Congregational staff who occupy the “second chair” often find themselves in a precarious position related to the prospects of their tenure.
Sometimes circumstances dictate this, but also, the relationship with the senior pastor can be a major factor, or, simply…
Pastors, their families and best practices
The paradox is that if we want our families to be healthy, balanced and whole, then we need to work on ourselves.
How do I bring my best self to my family?
If I say that something is important to…
Five Common Responses to Anxiety
Bowen systems theory helps us understand relationship dynamics universal to relationship systems, from families to corporations, to churches. Systems theory identifies four common responses when it comes to how we handle anxiety. Here’s an example.
Agnes is an anxious…
Managing Stress: A Bowenian Perspective
In the last several months, the world has been touched by coronavirus.
It has quickly evolved into a global pandemic.
This unexpected force has relentlessly disrupted the flow of commerce, changed the shape of education, revealed the inadequacies of our…
Triangle Games
The concept of the emotional triangle often is referred to as the “building block” for emotional process dynamics in relationship systems (families, churches, organizations, etc.).
Dual relationships (one on one) are difficult to maintain so it does not take long…
Breaking out of Gridlock
June 17, 2019—I consulted with a couple of organizations that were “stuck” but motivated enough to get moving toward becoming “healthier.” As I worked with the leaders and employees of both organizations I was reminded of some fundamental truths about…
Four Systems Traps When Starting at a New Ministry
Bill Wilson, founder and director of the Center for Healthy Churches in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, wrote about “4 Traps for Clergy Moving to a New Congregation.” He named them as the trap of expectations, the trap of…
How One Person Learned to Deal With Triangles
April 22, 2019—Being a caring person who was “trained” in her family of origin to be the “fixer” or intermediary when family spats happened, Rebecca was naturally drawn to entering triangles—invited or not. Early on it was a comfortable role…
Your Congregation Is Not Your Family
January 7, 2019—The fact is that, despite the warm metaphor we commonly use, a congregation is not a family. A congregation is a localized, institutionalized expression of a larger social system: the organized religious system.1 The relationship clergy have with…
