The concept of the emotional triangle often is referred to as the “building block” for emotional process dynamics in relationship systems (families, churches, organizations, etc.).
Dual relationships (one on one) are difficult to maintain so it does not take long…
June 17, 2019—I consulted with a couple of organizations that were “stuck” but motivated enough to get moving toward becoming “healthier.” As I worked with the leaders and employees of both organizations I was reminded of some fundamental truths about…
April 22, 2019—Being a caring person who was “trained” in her family of origin to be the “fixer” or intermediary when family spats happened, Rebecca was naturally drawn to entering triangles—invited or not. Early on it was a comfortable role…
January 7, 2019—The fact is that, despite the warm metaphor we commonly use, a congregation is not a family. A congregation is a localized, institutionalized expression of a larger social system: the organized religious system.1 The relationship clergy have with…
November 12, 2018—Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST), or “Bowen Theory,” continues to grow in its interest to, and influence among, clergy, denominational leaders, and seminaries. I think this is a good thing, overall. Many have found in BFST a frame…
I learned about Bowen Theory in seminary and following it through the pastor with whom I served and several ministers who “practiced” the theory and participated in workshops called Leadership in Ministry (LIM). While in seminary, my professors often emphasized…
July 30, 2018—Have you ever heard a pastor say, “Why is it that no matter what church I go to I always end up with the same bunch of @&#* idiots?!” If you’ve had a string of dysfunctional churches, the…
July 2, 2018—Archaeological discoveries have made us aware of other versions of sacred stories that were lost for previous generations. For example, the full text of the Gospel of Thomas was only discovered in 1945. These non-canonical texts provide alternative…
March 26, 2018—The Bowen Systems Theory concept of multi-generational transmission in families, although often difficult to accept at one level, is logically appreciated at another. Families pass along habits, traditions, beliefs, grudges, feuds, genes, and emotional process down the generations….
October 2, 2017—The first time I ever heard of Larry Matthews, founder of the Leadership in Ministry workshops, was when I heard his voice on a cassette tape. In Chicago in April 1997, Larry led a workshop on church…
Sabotage is a predictable reactive phenomenon to the threat of change. Anytime leaders work toward change, of whatever kind, they can expect reactivity. As such, we should always expect it. The form it takes, however, is often surprising.
May 23, 2016—Functioning at a high level of self-differentiation is the golden fleece sought by organizational and congregational leaders who are students of Bowen Systems Theory. Especially during times of acute anxiety and systemic reactivity, effective leaders will work on…
January 18, 2016—Every once in a while I need to challenge someone by asking, “Do you want to be liked or do you want to be effective?” In one sense it’s a false choice, but in another, leaders often will…
