Siblings: What’s Your Birth Order?
Siblings: What’s Your Birth Order?
My younger brother told me that one of his most enduring childhood memories is chasing me on his tricycle while my friends and I shot away from him on our bikes.
What memories do you have of your siblings?
…
Dealing With Critics
If you are the leader, critics come with the territory.
Few things are as frustrating and disheartening for a leader as being on the receiving end of undue criticism.
It seems that no good deed goes unpunished, no meaningful…
The 100% Myth
You’ve seen it.
After taking a congregational vote to call a pastor the tally shows a majority vote in the affirmative, maybe 90%, or 98%, or maybe 87%.
The decision is made, the new pastor will be called.
But…
Is your triangle “bad”?
The Leadership in Ministry workshops at The Center for Lifelong Learning use Bowen Theory (or Bowen Family Systems Theory—BFST) as a framework for interpreting the dynamics of congregational and organizational life, and, to help participants work on their…
What type of repertoire do differentiated leaders tend to follow?
Functioning at a high level of differentiation is the golden fleece for most congregational leaders who are students of BFST.
Especially in times of acute systemic anxiety and symptomatic reactivity, effective leaders will work on focusing on the repertoire that…
Resources for personal leadership
Purists of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) tend to eschew notions or frameworks of individualistic perspectives to therapy or interpreting families or organizations (like “personality type” or “traits” schemas).
They prefer a consistent “systems” approach that focuses on the structural…
Emotional Integration in Organizations
At the conclusion of a recent presentation on leadership in organizations someone asked, “How would you define emotional integration in an organization?”
While I did not use that phrase in my presentation, it was a good question.
The…
Thinking Changes Things
In October 1929, the U.S. Stock Market crashed.
Investors lost billions of dollars; were drained of their sense of invincibility; and confronted with the limits of industrialization and human power.
This unprecedented event set in motion the Great Depression—a deep…
What Will You Do?
In Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) the concept of differentiation of self is all about functioning.
One manifestation of the extent to which one is functioning in a self-differentiated manner is how well one can separate feeling from thinking.
Some…
Get Understanding
Few things escape the consequences of their own success.
This axiom seems true even of Bowen Family Systems Theory.
It seems that systems theory is now the “in” thing—never have there been as many courses on it, or more “experts”…
An Act of Unselfish Love
I was in late elementary school – the years when one is old enough to recognize that hardships exist in life but young enough to think the world was all about me.
My mother had a close friend whom she…
Knowing When To Fold ‘Em: The Plight of Second Chair Leaders
Congregational staff who occupy the “second chair” often find themselves in a precarious position related to the prospects of their tenure.
Sometimes circumstances dictate this, but also, the relationship with the senior pastor can be a major factor, or, simply…
Pastors, their families and best practices
The paradox is that if we want our families to be healthy, balanced and whole, then we need to work on ourselves.
How do I bring my best self to my family?
If I say that something is important to…
Five Common Responses to Anxiety
Bowen systems theory helps us understand relationship dynamics universal to relationship systems, from families to corporations, to churches. Systems theory identifies four common responses when it comes to how we handle anxiety. Here’s an example.
Agnes is an anxious…
Managing Stress: A Bowenian Perspective
In the last several months, the world has been touched by coronavirus.
It has quickly evolved into a global pandemic.
This unexpected force has relentlessly disrupted the flow of commerce, changed the shape of education, revealed the inadequacies of our…
