How Do You Measure Success?

How Do You Measure Success?

I encountered one of the most centering definitions of success during high school.

It was by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

His more humanistic definition of success goes: “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the…

Triangle Games

The concept of the emotional triangle often is referred to as the “building block” for emotional process dynamics in relationship systems (families, churches, organizations, etc.).

Dual relationships (one on one) are difficult to maintain so it does not take long…

Do Not Judge

At a conference I experienced that familiar unsettling situation where an audience member asks a question, you do the best you can to respond on your feet in-the-moment, only to later, after the event is over, come up with a…

Leaving Well

I have had many conversations with clergy who are contemplating leaving their ministry settings.

It’s not unusual for these consultations to come in waves, and it is always interesting that they do.

It seems that issues, crises, fads, and topics…

Nine Things I Learned About Leadership (So Far)

One axiom about vocations is that it takes about three years to learn a job and about four and a half years to get competent at it.

It’s something I tell seminarians as a caution about the complex work of…

Common Sense in Pastoral Leadership

Emotional Intelligence is one of the fields of research that currently is being applied to pastoral leadership.

I think it holds great promise for effective pastoral leadership because the nature of leadership in the context of congregations is more about…

Questioning Change: The Leader as Change Agent

“Making good judgments about what needs to be preserved, what might be altered, and what should be totally redesigned are the difficult issues that institutions face.” Green and Hayward, Transforming Higher Education.

 

Change is the constant in organizations because…

Connectional Leadership and the Self

Experience has not changed my belief that when the leadership (“L”) position is filled by a leader (or leaders) who is moving forward in his/her own process of self-differentiation, any system stands the best chance of dealing creatively with, rather…

Changing Others, Changing Self

A very nervous young bride-to-be was counseled by her pastor on a way to stay focused for getting through the ceremony.

“Take it one step at a time,” said the minister, “When you enter the church tomorrow, you will be…

Breaking out of Gridlock

June 17, 2019—I consulted with a couple of organizations that were “stuck” but motivated enough to get moving toward becoming “healthier.” As I worked with the leaders and employees of both organizations I was reminded of some fundamental truths about…

Reframing Leadership

June 10, 2019—What does it take to be an effective leader? That’s a complex and perennial question that has spawned countless books, lectures, seminars, courses, and workshops (and countless moments of personal self-doubt on the part of anyone in the…

The Theory of Hype

June 3, 2019—Cleaning out some files I came across a listing of businesses for which I had done consultations some years ago. The list was from the early nineties when I was doing more consultations with businesses and corporations than…

How One Person Learned to Deal With Triangles

April 22, 2019—Being a caring person who was “trained” in her family of origin to be the “fixer” or intermediary when family spats happened, Rebecca was naturally drawn to entering trianglesinvited or not. Early on it was a comfortable role…

When the Honeymoon is Over

April 8, 2019—Beginning a ministry at a new church is an exciting experience. New challenges, a fresh start, promising possibilities, new relationships, can all be energizing. For most clergy, the first year at a new church is filled with excitement…

Ten Leadership Quotes from Edwin Friedman

March 11, 2019—Few have helped re-frame the understanding of leadership in organizations within this generation as has Edwin Friedman. Expanding Bowen Family Systems Theory from its clinical therapeutic context to the contexts of religious institutions and organizations, Friedman’s writings have…

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