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The calling to ministry involves service to others, self-denial, and often, self-sacrifice.
For many clergy, investing in self-care can be a significant challenge. Whatever its source, feelings of obligation, guilt, or shame, or a lack of boundaries, clergy are prone to a high risk for burnout related to a lack of self-care. There’s no denying that ministry is complex, and therefore, endlessly busy, but those clergy and ministry staff who fail to practice self-care ultimately and inevitably fail themselves and their congregations.
The matter is made worse by the common overfuntioning-underfunctioning reciprocity in the relationship between congregations and their staff. Congregations are all too willing, indeed some expect, their pastors and staff to be the overfunctioning partner in the relationship. And too many pastors and staff are willing to accept the arrangement.
I find that a common point of stuckness for many clergy and staff is the uneasy sense that self-care is equivalent to selfishness. Author Parker Palmer provides a corrective to that notion:
“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.” (Let Your Life Speak p. 30).
Clergy and staff need to accept that acts of self-care will often be perceived as selfish or even irresponsible by many. For some of those, no amount of rationale or education will convince them otherwise. At those times, self-definition rather than apologetics seems to me the most appropriate stance.
For example, stating, “I am committed to taking care of my mental, spiritual, and physical health for my benefit, for the welfare of my family, and as part of the stewardship of my ministry,” is more helpful than “I work very hard at my ministry, sometimes working long hours for the benefit of others. I deserve a break, and the church should support my efforts at self-care.”
The first approach is a principled stance; the second is a rationale aimed at convincing.
Check out these programs of the Center for Lifelong Learning for support in clergy self-care:
Israel Galindo is Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning. He directs the Pastoral Excellence Programs of the Center for Lifelong Learning. To learn how to practice leading in anxious times consider participating in the Leadership in Ministry program at the Center for Lifelong Learning.
