Nurturing Hearts: A Reflection on Contemplative Spiritual Direction

The candle glows. We sit together, inviting the Holy. In the quiet, we listen from our hearts, pray, and hold space for the Holy to touch us in our souls. The space is holy and deeply spiritual. In this sacred space, spiritual direction or spiritual companionship can happen.

I’ve been blessed to be a spiritual director for a little over ten years, walking beside folks seeking answers to questions of vocation, searching for meaning, and trying to deepen their relationship with the Divine.

Sometimes, a seeker comes after a major life-changing event shakes their belief and faith. Other times, they want to discern a new path. Sometimes, they want to understand how they’ve come to believe what they believe. And, sometimes, they don’t know why they’re coming; they only know they yearn for a deeper connection with the Divine.

The process and what happens during a session remain a mystery to me. I’m constantly amazed at the way the Divine shows up, whether meeting with someone on Zoom or in person. At the best of times, the Spirit nudges me and the person I’m meeting with toward a deeper understanding of faith, life, and meaning. It all feels like a mystery, totally outside my control.

In a conversation with my pastor several years ago, I told her I felt like I was looking for something more, some new, more meaningful ways to use my gifts. Her immediate response was, “I know what you should do. You should be a spiritual director.” That pastor is a wise woman, so I knew to take what she said seriously.

I was seeing a spiritual director myself, and in my sessions with her, we prayed and spent time in silence together as I discerned whether becoming a spiritual director might be the next right step along my path.

I researched spiritual direction training programs, and after several months, I applied to and was accepted by the Shalem Institute. I’m a Mennonite, and while there is a growing community of spiritual directors in our denomination, when I began my studies at Shalem over ten years ago, I really didn’t know what to expect.

The three years of study were eye-opening. I learned about saints, mysticism, and techniques for holding space and assisting others in their search for closeness to the Divine. More importantly, I was guided by teachers who were experienced directors and who cared deeply about developing others. I also met other seekers who became friends and prayer partners and deeply important to my life and growth.

Three years ago, one of those friends, Sharon Junn, Contemplative Spirituality Programs Director at Columbia Theological Seminary, reached out to me to ask if I’d be interested in being the facilitator for the Certificate in Spiritual Direction program. I’d never thought about doing something like that and wondered how it would be to work with the seminary campus in Georgia, far away from my home outside of Chicago and in a Presbyterian program different from my Mennonite reality.

But, I believe the world needs more spiritual directors and that it is important for those who feel called to that path to be trained to do the work carefully and well. And, I believe in the importance of continuing to learn and stretch myself as I strive to become a better director. So, I said yes and I haven’t regretted that decision for a moment.

I love the program’s framework, moving from Listening Heart to Awakening Heart to Nurturing Hearts. I’m trained as a contemplative spiritual director, so the call to be a “Listening Heart” speaks to my work and how I’ve continued to try to be grounded in silence and openness to the movement of the Spirit. Re-visiting some of the readings I studied during my training and being introduced to new voices has enriched my life and my practice.

And, my heart has been awakened. There are so many variations of spiritual disciplines, so I have been grateful for the opportunity to explore many of them in a safe place with others who are searching for the practice that fits them best. I’ve learned more about the Enneagram and Centering Prayer; each has enriched my life and my ability to offer spiritual direction.

All of this is done in the service of nurturing hearts. Because, in the end, that’s what this work is all about. We live in a world where connection and being deeply grounded in a relationship with the Divine and with each other is more important than ever. I believe that continuing to search for meaning and doing it with others is what will pull us through.

So, I’ll continue to learn, practice the disciplines that feed my soul, and seek out others to walk with. I’ll continue to provide a place for spiritual direction, to light a candle, to sit in silence and hold space for the Holy to be present. Because, surely, such space is sacred.

Interested in becoming a Spiritual Director? Apply to the seminary’s program HERE.

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~Jan Lugibihl, Facilitator for the Certificate in Spiritual Direction program