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The dinner had been planned weeks before, but on the night of October 7th, 2023, I was at a potluck gathering of women from different faiths. Hosted at the home of a Jewish woman, and we were Christian, Muslim and Jews. We were pastors, rabbis, and lay leaders. We had traveled on an interfaith pilgrimage together about 6 years earlier and remain committed to gather when we can to support and cherish each other.
The news of the day, the attack by Hamas on Israel, and the impending response, pervaded our time together. Having traveled on another interfaith trip with a rabbi who was present, I knew of her staunch insistence on Israel’s right to exist, but also knew of her fierce critique of the Israeli government, and commitment to the Palestinian cause. One woman present was a refugee from a Middle Eastern country and had been widowed by a bomb that took her husband’s life in another conflict. The pain was not distant, but very present. All were afraid of what was to come. Before we broke bread, we called on the God that we know by many names, be among the chaos, the human desire to vanquish the enemy, and help us all to seek the way of peace in the days ahead.
Over my forty plus years of ministry, I have found that intentionally seeking to understanding difference helps one to have empathy, and once you are there, you are more able to work responsibly and responsively in constructive ways, and hopefully peaceful ones. You become less likely to pop off slogans or impute intentions to those on the other side of a confrontation. Calling someone an antisemite if they criticize the Israeli government only escalates the situation. In conversations over meals in America and Palestine with Jews, Palestinians and even a Jewish West bank settler working for peace, I have heard the thoughts and witnessed the works of unsung heroes who passionately purse peace and justice, out of the headlines, and below the radar. What the have in common is their willingness to move out of their comfort zone and risk being changed.
Sometimes such challenges are closer to home. In my second call, I served as a campus minister at Iowa State University and in a presbytery with only one other woman clergyperson. I found a particular, very vocal, conservative male clergyperson (who I will call Tom Jones) annoying at presbytery meetings. We often were on the opposite side of any controversial vote in presbytery. Those where the days in which presbyteries were writing sexual misconduct policies for the first time, and our presbytery had none, and needed to draft a policy. One member of presbytery got up and said, “Let’s not have a big committee. Just have Ann Clay Adams and Tom Jones draft something, if the two of them can agree, then it will be a slam dunk for the rest of us.” I was shocked, then Tom Jones immediately said yes, and the eyes of the presbytery turned to me. With great fear in my heart, I agreed. Having to work together, one on one, we were able to share some personal experiences as we worked for months on our daunting task. In the end, there was only one issue on which we could not come to agreement and decided to put the issue before a presbytery committee. I was on the losing side of the final vote, though a couple of lay women preferred my perspective. Tom and I became friends, but we continued to disagree on most things. What changed was how playfully and respectfully our disagreements were on the floor of presbytery. And that issue on which we never agreed, is no longer an issue for the church in this day and age, with my perspective winning out over time, though it took over twenty years.
As Columbia ushers in its new QEP, my hope is that our students will learn lessons now that will serve them in their ministries right away and they do not have to wait years to have the significant experiences that shape their openness to others and their desire to be peacemakers. Attending the Interfaith festival on campus in September is a wonderful place to start.
